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All you have to do to have fun in Boston is buy Red Sox tickets online!

I eat brains; there is a video.

Testicles.

So after my food column debut in the Crimson (a day in Chinatown), I have a few other columns in the works. I think one of my favorite kinds of food adventures is the complete gross-out.

Which is why I need to know if you know where to get testicles. Not frozen ones from the supermarket. Because I can’t really cook, and I’d like to give testicular-induced culinary joy its best shot.

So pray tell, gentle readers: what restaurant in Boston serves balls?

“Like a barnyard in your mouth”: JoJo Taipei in Allston

It’s funny how your original goal (to introduce Dan to Chinese shaved ice) can morph into something utterly unrecognizable. In an epic rock-paper-scissors battle, it was decided that the spot would be JoJo Taipei in Allston. And when I saw pig intestines on the menu, how could I resist?

Actually, pig intestine showed up in 2 of the appetizers and 3-4 of the entrees. There was pig intestine in “fire casserole” (unclear), pig intestine in you noodles, pig intestine fried, pig instead steamed. It was a heaven of porcine entrails.

But that left many more options, since it would be hard to make a meal entirely of intestine. The waitress dropped off our complimentary roasted peanuts and pickled cabbages (delicious) and I did the ordering in Chinese. She seemed determined to speak Chinese, actually – usually waitresses pick up that my language skills are a little rusty, and switch over to English, but Dan only got a few quick admonitions to use his spoon and I did the ordering.

“We’re not very hungry,” I explained, requesting some suggestions.

“Ok, I’ll bring over stinky tofu and ‘xiao long bao’ (soup dumplings) then,” she replied immediately, already writing down our order. I was relieved to not have to make any decisions.

My camera crapped out after one picture, so dear blog reader, you will be treated to a far fancier camera this post.

Stinky Tofu

Stinky Tofu

Stinky tofu arrived first. As soon as she set it down, the eponymous stink immediately hit you – like a breeze had blown over a manure pile. The dish itself was pretty disappointing – dry, with a the texture of a delicate sponge, and flavoring came only from a thin chili sauce that refused to cling to the fried surface of the tofu. Dan took one bite and made a face. “Like a barnyard in your mouth,” he said. I found that subsequent pieces didn’t have the same effect. You get used to the smell very fast.

Pig Intestine

Pig Intestine

Here is the pig intestine, with a nice peanutty dipping sauce and stuffed with chives. It reminded me a lot of the meat found on pig’s feet, with the same chewy, gelatinous quality.

Xiao Long Bao - soup buns

Xiao Long Bao - soup dumpling

Our waitress brought his over, along with soup soons. I was confused on eating technique and just popped the whole thing in my mouth and struggled not to let a boiling mouthful of soup and pork overcome my physical capacities. Definitely something you have to eat hot. The skin of these buns are unleavened, so they have a thinner, translucent quality.

Bao Bing - Shaved ice with toppings

Bao Bing - Shaved ice with toppings

Finally, dessert time. It said to choose 3 toppings, but the waitress just smiled and said she’d put everything on a large shaved ice for us. It arrived on an enormous platter, every bit as bizarrely and richly satisfying as I remember – kidney beans, mung beans, red beans, tapioca pearls, condensed milk, some kind of sweet syrup, soft, mealy peanuts, all haphazardly lobbed onto a fluffy, finely grated bed of ice.

A worthy finale to an adventurous meal.

Tapioca pearls, peanuts, other kinds of goodness

Tapioca pearls, peanuts, other kinds of goodness

Jo Jo Taipei on Urbanspoon

Trinity: Duck, chocolate creme brulee, cooked blood.

Slow roasted duck, braised escarole, roasted fingerlings, Sicilian olives (Rialto, The Charles Hotel)

Slow roasted duck, braised escarole, roasted fingerlings, Sicilian olives (Rialto, The Charles Hotel)

Blood with scallions - probably duck or goose blood.

Blood with scallions - probably duck or goose blood. (Somewhere in Flushing, Queens)

Chocolate creme brulee, Cafe of Love in Mt. Kisco

Chocolate creme brulee, Cafe of Love in Mt. Kisco

All you have to do to have fun in Boston is buy Red Sox tickets online!