How-to
How to read a recipe
This afternoon, curled up on a chair at the Harvard COOP, I read through recipes calling for purple perilla and banana leaves. (Shaw’s would definitely not stock those.) I inhaled instructions on making chantilly cream and fig sauce, preparing risotto ahead of time, and the expensive, three-page-long process of replicating Barbara Lynch
No wonder it was a little strange to read Giada
Nonetheless, I ended up reading Giada’s recipe on pizza pot pie and wondering if my dining partner would enjoy that, served up in an elegant ramikin (yet to be acquired) with premade puff pastry topping spilling over the sides just so. In the midst of my fine dining cookbook binge, Giada, along with the author of “Easy Chinese Stir-Fries
Books mentioned in this post:
How to make and eat biscotti
Here is a template for an ideal morning:
Wake up early, exercise. Shower, put on a dress and heels. Apply lip gloss, even though it’ll come off on the coffee lid. Brush your hair by running your fingers through it. (You don’t own a comb.)
Stop at a coffee shop (it can be Starbucks, but better pastries are to be had elsewhere). Buy black drip coffee and biscotti – just one. Get your own table, and a magazine. Nothing too serious, a tabloid is best. Eat and drink very, very slowly. Write down the things you want to accomplish that day, but don’t feel bad if you only get around to half of them.
Linger, then leave.
When I confessed that I wanted to make biscotti, my friend Daniel admitted, “I don’t bake. Baking is not cooking. It’s science.”
He’s right. You can just substitute oil for butter and expect an equally delicious result. The issue is, I come from a culinary tradition of imprecision.
I remember watching my mother bake her cakes in the brown glass dish on Saturday mornings. She has two cakes my tummy knows well: apple and sticky rice. Whenever she comes to visit me at school, she’ll bring a slab of sticky rice cake, lined in red bean paste and presented in white Tupperware. It’s always presented along with a set of clean bed sheets, or admonitions to exercise (I do, every morning, I’ll protest).
13 Idiot-Proof Honey Recipes
Little critters I caught on camera last year when I visited an apiary.
These micro-recipes I penned were originally published on GoodEater.org (which has since undergone a facelift).
They’re the kind of recipes that are most useful for kitchen-retarded, time-strapped people like me – minimal equipment, dining-hall-able ingredients – more conceptual starting points than formulas.
If you’re a Bostonian looking for a local variety of honey to try, I highly recommend Mike Graney’s Eat Local Honey. I went through an entire jar in a week. Once you taste this stuff, it’s like the difference between Megan Fox on a magazine page and Megan Fox across the dinner table.
On second thought, maybe keep her on the magazine page.
Sweet deal - Mike Graney's Eat Local Honey
Local honey boasts flavors unique to the region it was produced in. Complexity like this deserves the simplest of treatments. Here are a few options.
1. Stir into yogurt. Add granola. Inhale.
2. Peanut butter and banana, on toast. Drizzle with honey. Sprinkle with sea salt.
3. From the bottom up: bread, sliced apples, paper-thin sweet potato, aged cheddar, drizzle of honey, bread. Put in sandwich press. Consume.
4. Alternatively: bread, sliced pear, toasted pine nut, gorgonzola dolce, drizzle of honey, bread. Press.
5. Or: bread, cream cheese, toasted walnut, sliced apple, drizzle of honey. Press.
6. Stir a teaspoon into two tablespoons of good, softened butter. Spread on toast. Or muffin. Or pancakes.
7. Thick slice of gruyere on crusty sourdough, under the broiler until melted. Drizzle with honey. Eat with napkins
8. Straight up, with cut fruit and croutons.
9. Mix with equal parts water and a good squeeze of lemon juice, freeze into ice cubes. Suck.
10. Gratuitously on top of breakfast cereal.
11. Equal parts with dijon mustard. Serve with everything grilled. Or fried.
12. In your tea and lemonade (or margaritas).
13. Sesame honey dressing: one part cider vinegar, one part honey, sesame seeds, slowly whisk in three parts oil. Add a touch of some sesame oil. Serve with spring greens.
What do you like to do with your honey?
The Foie Gras Diet, or, 7 Rules for Food Enthusiasts
One day, I hope to look this good.
Here’s one eater’s guidelines to making sure that you look as good as the food you are eating. Also, I don’t follow these all of the time. I mindlessly eat Cheetos like the best of them. Just, hopefully, less often.
If you have suggestions, feel free to add them in the comments. I tried to keep this list of insights lean. Har.
1) If someone hands you foie gras, eat it.
Never feel guilty about eating free foie gras. If someone treats you to an amazing meal, you have a duty to enjoy every last crumb – clear your mind, clean your plate, savor every calorie-rich mouthful. You will never live a full life you don’t occasionally eat some really fattening food.
2) Don’t eat bad bread.
Don’t eat cold, limp french fries. Don’t eat twenty Snickers bars. (Diminishing marginal returns on deliciousness.) If you’re eating what’s been deemed as Boston’s best donut ever, relish it. But the ill-catered leftovers from some forgettable event won’t edify you. Calories should be maximized for pleasure – sometimes, education. And if you go on a donut tour one day, eat salad the next.
3) Hot sauce can fix a lot of things.
A squirt of sriracha (or your favorite condiment that is not mayo) can act as a food bandaid for many healthful dishes. Like egg whites, with hot sauce. Stir fried veggies, with hot sauce. Soup, with hot sauce. You get the idea. Plus spicy stuff is rumored to give your metabolism a bit of a kick. And if you put in obscene amounts, it slows down how fast you can eat your food between anguished bites.
4) Fill up on water. (And try to keep booze to a minimum. Or something else.)
The first is self-explanatory. As for the second, see the next point.
I’ve never had a taste for alcohol. After drinking my first legal Tsing Tao beer (alcohol content: really low), my dad commented, “You look like a crab.” As in, bright red. Therefore, in the months leading up to Miss New York USA 2010, I pretty much cut out all alcohol consumption. And I really like soy milk, so dairy went out too. No big deal. Figure out what you’re willing to compromise on.
5) Shapewear is your friend.
My favorite item in my closet is a hyper-tight skirt with sleek, wide waistband that holds everything in and makes my skimpier dresses fit better. It also doubles as a really, really sexy skirt. But you don’t need to be overweight to benefit from the joys of shapewear, is all I’m saying. Bridget Jones had the right idea.
6) Your appearance [almost] entirely constructed.
This is a huge point, and really deserves a lengthy blog post/book. The reason why makeover shows work so well is because people don’t know how to style themselves.
What a lot of people don’t grasp is that appearance is a constructed thing – it’s a series of skill sets and resources. Celeb handlers know this. Beauty queens know this. That’s why I saw so many girls with clip on hair, bronzer, and padding. To some people, that means it’s “fake.” If you’re smart, you can use this to your advantage. (Or not – it’s a personal choice.) There’s no shame in being good at applying your makeup.
Dressing yourself comes down to one thing: knowing what looks good on you. Then knock ‘em dead.
7) And yeah… exercise.
It’s a great way to catch up on your favorite reality TV.
How to pick a date restaurant: advice from food writer MC Slim JB
I thought I would highlight a comment from my fav Boston food writer (for the Phoenix and STUFF) MC Slim JB. I wrote a semi-serious post on how to choose a date restaurant where I warned men not to take me to Bertucci’s. He adds a few good points:
- My advice on this score includes: don’t pick someplace expensive (looks like you’re trying too hard), do pick a place that makes really good drinks if you plan to imbibe, avoid places that are punishingly loud (conversation is kind of important), and don’t be afraid to ask about food aversions/taboos: nothing will kill your prospects like bringing a vegan to a steakhouse or someone with a seafood allergy to a sushi joint.
If you’re interested in learning some more about the MC, see my interview with him here.
I’d like to add that if your date is a very attractive, but exceptionally dull, self-centered, or dim, try to pick a place with that punishingly loud atmosphere. When he/she opens her mouth, just pretend that something brilliant is coming out and enjoy the view.
Let’s get real: inner beauty is only one of the reasons why people go on dates.