Gourmet Dumpling House is the kind of Chinese restaurant that you hope for when you stroll through Boston’s rather small enclave of all things Asia, with a focus on that mysterious Middle Kingdom. First of all, it’s very, very busy. That’s always a good sign.

I declared “two people” in Chinese at the front desk, and I may have imagined it, but I think we were seated more quickly than other people waiting. Finally entering the fray was like trying to crowdsurf: you just kind of dive in and hope for the best, with no romantic buffer between you and your meal. First of all, there’s wasn’t much ambiance to speak of. It was all naked, glaring light and diners packed in like sardines, seated at tables so tiny that they struggle to hold more than two dishes before the waiter starts stacking plates on top of one another. My friend Taylor and I basically had dinner with the couple jammed up next to us, a friendly Chinese couple who lived in the area – the husband was Harvard College class of 1975, and a former Quadling.

It’s funny how Americans come to expect semi-bad service and lack of ambiance as a hallmark of a good Chinese restaurant. I’m theorizing here, but I think part of it is because Chinese food has become such a commonly accepted cuisine that in order for it be more exotic and exciting of an experience, bad service and decor is appealing in the same way secondhand bohemian togs grace privileged bodies.

That being said, the service was surprisingly good, and I worked out a little bit of my Chinese that I picked up over the summer. My foodie friend had recommended the Szechuan fish stew and salt and pepper fried squid, as did our waiter. He also declared the soup dumplings (named “juicy dumplings” on the menu) as tasty, so we threw those into the mix as well.

Just looking at this picture again makes me salivate, thinking about the tender slices of flounder and cabbage steeped in a scary-looking (but only moderately spicy) red oil, giant handfuls of whole chiles, all perfectly paired with a bowl of slightly sticky white rice. Fantastic. They don’t use “numbing hot” spice, which is surprising considering it’s Szechuan style, but I guess it’s hard to get your hands on the real thing stateside, or maybe the flavors are just too unusual. Anyway, despite the lack of tongue paralysis, a supremely satisfying bowl that easily feeds 4-5 for about $13. What a deal.

We need a closeup to emphasize how delicious this is.

They also hit it out of the park with the salt and pepper fried squid, which might also be deemed “salt and pepper fried crack” or something similar. You just cannot stop eating this stuff – it’s crunchy, it’s salty, it’s bite has just the right amount of bounce and give coated by the tastiest breading known to man. It’s served superfluously on a bed of chopped pale greens. Anything – even the toes of babies and the flippers of fetal baby seals – would taste good prepared this way.

Unforch, the juicy dumplings (“xiao long bao”) disappointed. These are eaten with a spoon: you bite a small hole as you balance it in your soup spoon, then slowly suck out the burning hot juice inside which is actually a block of melted gelatin/fat that’s been placed prior to cooking. The flavor was a bit off and I felt it should have been sweeter, but the skins were supple and they were served satisfyingly at a dangerous temperature.

We opted to get a dessert across the street at Great Taste Bakery. They had run  out of red bean paste and pineapple buns, and in fact, any kind of baked good that a Chinese bakery makes well, so Taylor made the ill-advised choice of getting this almond cake.

“Chinese cakes suck,” I told him very baldly, hoping to spare his tastebuds. But it was all of like, 70 cents, so no big loss when my premonition turned out to be correct.

Not only was it just… bad, it was also kind of stale. Dry, spongey, flavorless cake with stiff, flavorless, frosting that felt like watered-down chilled margarine. Oops.

Find it!

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Gourmet Dumpling House

52 Beach St (between Harrison Ave & Oxford St)

(617) 338-6223

Great Taste Bakery

63 Beach St (between Oxford St & Ping On St)
(617) 426-8899

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2. Excess, Delicious Excess: 5 Course Meal at Crabtree’s Kittle House Inn, Chappaqua, NY
3. The Chinese Food Truck on Oxford St
4. Flushing, Queens
5. Russell House Tavern to open in Harvard Square